“You went to the gym on Christmas Day?” laughed Kellen. “That’s the most ridiculous thing that I’ve ever heard!”
“Dude, I’m Hindu…” shrugged Rohin, loading up the barbell in the squat rack. “Christmas isn’t really a thing for my people.”
“Oh, yeah - sorry…” apologised Kellen, stepping into position to tackle his next set of squats. “I forgot about that. Was anyone else here?”
“It was surprisingly busy…” replied Rohin. “I always think that anyone left in London on Christmas Day is playing on my team.”
“On your team?” repeated Kellen. “What do you mean?”
“You know, not caught up in all of that white Anglo-Saxon Christian nonsense…” shrugged Rohin. “An outsider, like me.”
“Oh, sure…” nodded Kellen. “I always think of that expression as referring to whether someone is gay or not.”
“Really?” laughed Rohin. “In that case, we are definitely not on the same team!”
“Relax, dude…” grinned Kellen. “You’re totally not my type.”
“What do you mean, I’m not your type?” protested Rohin. “How could I not be your type? I’m fucking irresistible!”
“I was joking!” laughed Kellen. “Obviously, I’d have sex with you - if you were up for that. But I know that you’re a total hetero. I was joking.”
“You can’t joke about that kind of stuff!” grinned Rohin. “You know how fragile my masculinity is! Anyway, if I was ever going to get a bit curious and get it on with a guy, obviously I’d want to do it with you.”
“This is such a weird conversation!” laughed Kellen. “Can we just get on with this workout? It’s your turn.”
“So, what did you do for Christmas?” asked Rohin, slamming the bar back into the squat rack after completing his set.
“We had an orphan’s Christmas at my friend Marc’s…” replied Kellen. “There was just five of us there.”
“An orphan’s Christmas?” repeated Rohin. “What does that mean?”
“You know, it’s when people who aren’t going to be with their family for Christmas get together so that they’re not alone…” explained Kellen. “Although to be honest, spending Christmas with my friends is always a lot more fun than spending it with my family.”
“Did you cook a turkey?” asked Rohin.
“Well, get this…” said Kellen. “My friend Marc was hosting. He told us all that it was just going to be a relaxed and casual day. That he’d organise everything and we could just chip in some cash towards the food and the booze.”
“Sounds like a good plan…” acknowledged Rohin.
“£125…” declared Kellen. “He wanted to charge each of us £125. How the fuck is that relaxed and casual?”
“What was he serving?” laughed Rohin. “Champagne and caviar? Lobster? Blow-jobs for dessert?”
“Exactly!” agreed Kellen. “Ridiculous! He’d gone completely over the top. So predictable. So French.”
“So… were there blow-jobs for dessert?” asked Rohin.
“You’re an idiot…” winked Kellen. “If you’re not going to play on my team then you don’t get to hear all of the messy details. Come on, I’m done. Let’s hit the showers.”