"How did your hookup go last night?" asked Marc.

"Interesting..." replied Kellen.

"Interesting?" said Marc. "What do you mean interesting? How can a hookup be interesting?"

"Well, it was good..." shrugged Kellen. "It just wasn’t what I was expecting."

"You had sex, right?" asked Marc.

"No..." replied Kellen.

"Oh..." said Marc.

"Turns out, that wasn't what he was looking for..." explained Kellen.

"Really?" asked Marc. "I thought you’d been sexting with him for ages?"

"Yes..." confirmed Kellen. "Turns out, I misread his intentions."

"But he came over, right?" asked Marc. "How is that not a hook-up?"

"He said he wanted to come over and show me his underwear..." explained Kellen. "Turns out, that’s literally what he wanted to do."

"What?" said Marc.

"He’s an exhibitionist..." explained Kellen. "He likes getting naked. He likes showing off. He literally came over, tried on different pairs of underwear that he’d brought, we sat on the couch and chatted for ages, then he left."

"You chatted?" asked Marc. "What did you chat about?"

"Sexual stuff..." shrugged Kellen. "His exhibitionist fantasies. His husband."

"His husband?" repeated Marc.

"Yes..." nodded Kellen. "If I’d known about the husband I might not have jumped to conclusions about the sex."

"When did you realise that you weren’t going to get any action?" asked Marc.

"Pretty much when he started talking about his husband..." replied Kellen.

"How disappointing..." said Marc.

"I know, right?" agreed Kellen. "I shaved my balls for nothing."

Follow Gareth Johnson on Twitter


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