"You'll never guess what happened to me yesterday!" exclaimed Charlie.

"You had a hair-cut?" replied Kellen.

"Yes, well that's part of it..." acknowledged Charlie. "Anyway, I went to get my haircut because I was thinking about going to SBN."

"Did you go?" asked Kellen.

"Yes, but that's a different story..." dismissed Charlie. "Anyway, I was getting my head shaved and my beard tidied up - the usual stuff."

"By the young guy?" asked Kellen.

"Yes, obviously..." nodded Charlie. "I pretty much only get him these days. Anyway, he was finishing up - waving the hair-dryer over me to blow away any loose hairs."

"Did you get the massage?" asked Kellen.

"Totally..." nodded Charlie. "It's the best bit of the whole experience!"

"I know, right?" agreed Kellen. "So good!"

"So, everything was wrapping up and then he sort of poked my stomach..." said Charlie.

"What?" asked Kellen.

"He sort of poked my stomach..." repeated Charlie.

"Your stomach?" asked Kellen. "Why would he poke your stomach?"

"I think it was kind of a joke..." shrugged Charlie. "He poked my stomach and said - What's this, Mister?"

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Kellen. "He fat-shamed you?"

"No, I didn't take it like that..." said Charlie.

"What was your stomach doing out so far?" asked Kellen. "When was the last time you went to the gym?"

"That's not important right now..." dismissed Charlie.

"Actually, I think it's totally important right now..." insisted Kellen. "You've just been fat-shamed by the cute barber! How are we going to convert him over to our team if you're going in there and repulsing him with your stomach?"

"I don't think it was fat-shaming..." insisted Charlie. "It was more of an affectionate joke or something, a moment of intimacy between us. Do you think he might be T.W.?"

"Sometimes I think that all Turkish guys are a bit T.W..." shrugged Kellen. "But with this one it's hard to tell. He gives me mixed signals."

"Same..." nodded Charlie. "But this is the first time that he's made that kind of personal joke with me. I think maybe we've got a bit of a connection going between us."

"What's his name?" asked Kellen.

"What?" replied Charlie.

"What's his name?" repeated Kellen. "If you've got such a great connection with the guy, surely you're going to know his name?"

"Jesus you can be a cunt sometimes..." sighed Charlie.

"Want to come to the gym with me tonight?" asked Kellen.

"No..." replied Charlie.

"Think of the hot Turkish barber!" insisted Kellen. "Your stomach could be the only thing standing between me and his cock!"

"Fuck you're gross..." laughed Charlie. "Alright, alright. I'll come to the gym. I'll sit in the sauna for a bit while you take selfies of yourself next to the free-weights."

"You're a good friend..." grinned Kellen. "I'll send you photos of me naked with the Turkish barber."

"Please don't do that..." said Charlie. "I still can't un-see the last lot of sex photos you sent me."

"Your Dad looked good in those photos!" laughed Kellen.

"And we're done..." sighed Charlie, pulling his coat on and standing up from the table. "If I had the energy, I'd find new friends. I'll see you at the gym."

Follow Gareth Johnson on Twitter


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