"Where are we?" asked Hamish. "What are we doing? What’s going on?"
"Do you ever read my emails?" asked Charlie.
"No..." replied Hamish. "I don’t read anyone’s emails. Don’t take it personally. I just turn up whenever you tell me to. Any chance of a drink?"
"I don’t think it’s that kind of show..." said Charlie. "It’s like a studio preview. They just want people to post about it in social, get a bit of buzz going."
"Classic PR move..." nodded Hamish. "What’s it called?"
"Knives Out..." replied Charlie. "It’s directed by Rian Johnson. I’ve got a feeling that it’s a remake of Cluedo, but I could be completely wrong."
"So, how was SBN?" asked Hamish.
"What?" said Charlie.
"SBN..." repeated Hamish. "On Sunday. You went, right?"
"How do you know that?" asked Charlie.
"I don’t read your emails but I do keep tabs on you..." shrugged Hamish. "Did you have fun?"
"It was a bit of a disaster, to be honest..." sighed Charlie.
"Disaster?" said Hamish. "Why, what happened?"
"Well, disaster is probably over-stating it a bit..." conceded Charlie. "I don’t want to be too melodramatic. I just feel a bit awkward at that kind of thing."
"Awkward turtle..." grinned Hamish. "That’s cute. Why awkward? Because everyone’s naked?"
"I guess that’s it...." shrugged Charlie. "Well, it’s not just that. I don’t know."
"You got off, right?" asked Hamish.
"Um, no..." admitted Charlie.
"But you had some fun, yeah?" asked Hamish. "You got it on with some guys?"
"Not really..." admitted Charlie.
"You must have got your dick sucked?" asked Hamish. "Tell me that you at least rubbed up against someone? You didn’t just stand in a corner jacking off, did you?"
"I got naked, stood at the bar and drank a couple of beers..." explained Charlie. "I watched the show, and I went for a quick walk through the sex maze - but I felt too overwhelmed by it, so I got dressed and went home."
"Awkward turtle..." smiled Hamish. "Why did you go to these things?"
"I don’t know..." shrugged Charlie. "Trying to explore new things, I guess."
"Maybe sex parties are just not for you?" suggested Hamish.
"Maybe you’re right..." admitted Charlie. "Trouble was that I’d taken a Viagra before going into SBN. The tube ride home was a bit uncomfortable."
"Awkward turtle..." laughed Hamish. "Awkward turtle!"