"How was Brighton?" asked Sandra.

"It was awesome!" replied Kellen. "The weather was so good!"

"What was it you went to?" asked Sandra.

"I went with Charlie..." explained Kellen. "There was a queer literary festival that he wanted to go to."

"Any good?" asked Sandra.

"I only went to a couple of sessions..." shrugged Kellen. "I thing he found it a bit intimidating. Everyone talking about their writing, and their craft, and their practice."

"Is he a writer?" asked Sandra.

"He’d like to be..." nodded Kellen. "I think he writes a lot, he just hasn’t had anything published yet. What did you get up to?"

"My Aunty had a party in her garden..." replied Sandra.

"Your Aunty has a garden?" asked Kellen. "In London? Who is she, the Queen?"

"She lives in Hackney..." explained Sandra. "It’s a shared community garden. It was her divorce party."

"That’s not a thing..." said Kellen. "No one has a divorce party."

"Well, that’s what it was..." shrugged Sandra. "I’ve never seen her so happy. She kept making jokes about how much sex she was going to be having now that she was single. I told her to take it easy - I don’t need the competition!"

"I thought you were dating gym guy?" asked Kellen.

"I don’t think that’s going to go anywhere..." said Sandra.

"Why do you say that?" asked Kellen.

"Well, he’s ghosted me..." explained Sandra.

"Really?" asked Kellen. "Straight guys do that?"

"Yes, of course straight guys do that! exclaimed Sandra. "I’m pretty sure straight guys invented ghosting!"

"Don’t go appropriating queer culture!" snapped Kellen. "Ghosting was definitely invented by the gays."

"I can’t be accused of appropriation!" exclaimed Sandra. "I’m black!"

"Why would he ghost you?" asked Kellen. "You’re awesome!"

"I know, right?" agreed Sandra.

"He knows that you always put out, doesn’t he?" asked Kellen.

"Obviously..." nodded Sandera. "We had sex on the first date."

"Oh..." said Kellen.

"What?" asked Sandra. "Don’t judge me, Judy. You have sex with guys whose name you don’t even know. You have sex with guys who rub up against you on the dance floor. You have sex with guys standing next to you at the urinal."

"I’m not judging you!" exclaimed Kellen. "I’m not an expert on straight men, but my understanding is that they’re fairly goal-oriented."

"What does that mean?" asked Sandra.

"Well, once he’d had sex with you, it was job done..." explained Kellen. "Time to move on."

"What are you saying?" asked Sandra. "That I shouldn’t have had sex with him?"

"Not at all!" insisted Kellen. "You should never pass up an opportunity to have sex.
Or be on television."

"Thanks, Gore Vidal..." sighed Sandra.

"I’m just saying, accept that it was what it was..." shrugged Kellen. "Enjoy it for that - don’t read too much into it. Keep moving forward."

"Like a shark?" suggested Sandra.

"Exactly...." nodded Kellen. "Like a shark."

Photo by Arrul lin / Unsplash

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