London. Life.

“This bread is delicious!” exclaimed Charlie. “What is it? Olive and cheese?”

“Olive and Gruyere…” replied Hamish.

“I stand corrected…” laughed Charlie.

“I got it from Fabrique…” explained Hamish.

“Near the station?” asked Charlie. “I always forget that place. It’s the wrong side if the station for me.”

“It’s literally next door to the station!” laughed Hamish.

“I know, but I never walk past it…” shrugged Charlie. “I’m always coming from the other direction.”

“I practically live there…” said Hamish. “It’s probably the main reason that I could never go gluten-free. What are you and Oliver doing for Valentine’s Day?”

“I don’t know, to be honest…” shrugged Charlie. “We haven’t talked about. I guess he’ll be working.”

“Awesome!” exclaimed Hamish. “That means you can do something with me!”

“How romantic!” laughed Charlie.

“I don’t mean anything like that…” grinned Hamish. “Just that we can hang out, and do something non-Valentine together.”

“Sure! I’ve got nothing else going on…” agreed Charlie. “What do you want to do?”

“A movie? Theatre?” suggested Hamish. “Or, maybe we could cook dinner? We could see if there are any other singles around and everyone could bring something to share. Like a pot-luck Valentine, or something.”

“Pot-luck Valentine…” laughed Charlie. “Sounds like a sex party! Actually, speaking of sex parties, I brought you a present.”

“What the hell is this?” laughed Hamish, opening up the box that Charlie had pulled out of his bag.

“Try it on!” suggested Charlie. “I got it from Fort Troff - they sent it to me to do a product review. It’s like a glove with penis fingers.”

“I can see that it’s a glove with penis fingers!” laughed Hamish. “You’re giving me a second-hand sex glove?”

“I haven’t used it!” insisted Charlie. “It’s fresh out of the packet. Oliver’s not into toys or anything like that. I thought you might be able to test it out on one of your dates?”

“One of my dates?” repeated Hamish. “I think you’re over-estimating how often I’m hooking up. I’ve been going through a bit of a dry-spell. Anyway, I’m not sure that this is the type of thing that you can pull out the first time that you’re getting it on with a guy. Is it?”

“See how you get on…” shrugged Charlie. “Anyway, I’d better get moving - I’ve got an appointment to get my eyebrows done.”

“Why on earth are you doing that?” asked Hamish.

“Just a bit of maintenance…” shrugged Charlie. “Oliver spends so much time in the gym, I feel like I should be doing something to bring my A-game to this relationship.”

“I just get mine trimmed by the Turkish barber…” shrugged Hamish.

“Exactly…” nodded Charlie. “There’s a lesson in that for all of us.”

You can buy the penis glove from Fort Troff via this link. Buying products from Fort Troff using our affiliate link helps support the Hoxton Street series.