By Peter Minkoff

The wedding day is a spectacular and magical one, especially for gay couples who have walked a long and difficult road to make it possible for themselves. Now that gay marriage is legal in many countries, although numerous strides are yet to be made in the field of equality, it’s time to celebrate by tying the knot to your beloved one. As said, the very day is spectacular no matter what, but the planning process can be challenging and at times frustrating, which bring us here. We’re here to guide you through the wedding-planning maze, so you can walk down the perfect aisle with your head held high and a happy smile on your face, knowing you did everything to make this day as perfect as humanly possible.

First things first

Before your both start creating vision boards and pitching over-the-top ideas, there is one crucial element to take into account — the budget. You have to bear in mind that, according to loosely interpreted Murphy’s Law, everything costs more than it costs. Our pro tip is to take the initial expense estimate and almost double it because those unforeseen costs are always lurking around the corner. Once you have crunched the numbers and established how much money you have for your wedding extravaganza, the real and fun part of the planning can commence. Make sure you know much you wanna spend and then do your best to stay inside the lines so you don’t have to end up sacrificing something or ending up in debt.

Venue is everything

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Not to blow our own horns here, but one of the qualities many gay men possess is impeccable taste. This will of course be reflected in all aspects of your wedding, one of the most important ones being your choice of venue. Now, most gay couples opt for small and intimate affairs, which is why something along the lines of the intimate and cosy Olivigna restaurant fits the bill perfectly. Not only is a place like this perfect for special occasions, but it’s not only a venue — it’s also a restaurant and a winery, so you will have killed three birds with one stone and won’t have to worry about caterers and liquor options. You are your own wedding planner, so making smart and practical decisions is part of the job, and going for the whole package is the best thing you can do. Venues such as these also boast impressive ambiance so there will be very little left to do in the decoration department.

Things to consider

Logistics are boring, but hey, if you want everything to go without a hitch you must play the game. First of all, check if gay marriage is legal in your state. Once that is settled, don’t forget to get your marriage license and then find the perfect person to officiate the wedding. Certain officiants are still a tad narrow-minded, but if you can’t find someone from the outside, let one of your friends do it. Not only is it easy to get ordained, but it’s also an emotional moment having a loved one help you tie the knot.

The most important thing

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In straight weddings, all eyes are on the bride — in your case, all eyes are on you. This means that you have to look the best you’ve ever looked in your life and a simple off-the-rack suit will just not do. Now, having custom made bespoke suits tailored takes time, and this is something you should be incredibly aware off. Book your first appointment with the finest tailor on time — six months in advance is the perfect time. That way, you can be measured, have time for a number of fittings, and as stress is known to ‘eat away’ a few pounds of your body, hopefully you will have just enough time for some last-minute alterations. Color coordination is advised, but not mandatory. You can choose the types of suits that represent your respective style personas, but make sure you show some form of unison through details. It can be a pocket square, matching ties or belts — just make sure that there is a ‘tying’ element to this knot-tying day.

The two things that matter

People are likely to forget about the food and even the wedding décor, but the one thing they won’t forget is what a blast they had on your wedding. This is why it’s crucial to scout out either bands or great DJs on time. Most of the good ones are booked a year in advance, so as soon as you get engaged jump on YouTube, go to gigs and parties and check out what you like and seal the deal. The second most important thing is an incredible photographer. Most people are against splurging on something as ‘trivial’ as that, but we’re telling you, you will be watching these photos for years to come and you most certainly want them to be perfect. Not all photographers are equally skilled and inspiring, so this is, along with the music, not something you want to be frugal about.

The peculiar element

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Even though it’s 2018, there are still narrow-minded people in the world and possibly in your respective families as well. In order to have a perfect day filled with nothing but joy, think about your guest list very carefully. Sit down with your partner and have a lengthy discussion as to who you actually want present on your big day. There is no place for negativity on such an important and happy day, so feel free to not invite anyone who may rain on your parade with so much as a disapproving glance. Those who are invited are the people who are more than happy to celebrate your love and your union with you, and you should be surrounded by happy and supportive faces.

Matters will come up

Gay, straight, all couples who are planning a wedding fight during the planning time. There is just something in the air that makes us tense and irritable. Try to keep as calm and understanding as possible. Listen to your partner’s suggestions before dismissing them and truly take them into consideration. It may sound corny but compromise really is the key, so if you can’t agree on things such as the honeymoon destination or the perfect cake, don’t go with either of your suggestions but find a third one that will make both of you happy. It’s the only way to diffuse the tension and have a smooth planning ride.