Guys come in all shapes and sizes, and we don’t necessarily fit neatly into boxes or labels. But as you’re navigating your dating life, or just trying to figure out which guys you fancy a quick hook-up with, it’s useful to have some basic reference points for the types of guys that you might encounter on your adventures.
To help you on your travels, here’s a quick guide to some of the men that you’ll meet.
They’re masculine, muscular, and hairy. Sometimes it can be difficult to determine whether a guy is a bear, or if he’s just eaten too many pies. One man’s bear is another man’s overweight uncle.
The big muscles and masculine persona traditionally associated with bears can often be a way of acting-out against all of those insecurities that many gay men have had to grapple with when growing up or at school. However, if you’re of a slimmer build, or a bit more androgynous in your sexuality, then this can be intimidating.
Muscle Bears are probably the ultimate fantasy in this category. Polar Bears are older guys who are bears. Cubs are younger guys who are bears. There’s also otters, who are pretty much hairy guys who are skinny.
The twink is the epitome of young and fresh - if you take your references from Tom of Finland and Physique Pictorial then you’d probably refer to these guys as chicken.
These guys are into some sort of fetish, they probably describe themselves as pigs. It could be leather, it could be lycra, it could be puppy play. There’s probably going to be fisting involved.
These are the sporty gays. Jocks are gay guys who play sports, and they won’t hesitate to let you know about it. Ridiculously enthusiastic and full of energy.
The Muscle Marys go to the gym. They go to the gym a lot. They eat a lot of meat and drink a lot of protein shakes. Their farts smell terrible.
Muscle Marys generally don’t use their muscles for anything other than posing for selfies, or to impress other Muscle Marys when they take their t-shirt off at the club.
You could also describe Muscle Marys as Circuit Queens – they love a big gay party, and won’t hesitate to travel to party.
It’s impossible not to love a Sexy Nerd – that elusive combination of intellect, intelligence, and geeky hotness. You might see them referred to as a Sexy Geek.
These are guys who can make wearing glasses look attractive. They’re bookish guys who aren’t over-confident, they're Techy guys who know how to code and build apps just for fun. Sexy Nerds are boys who can look good wearing a cardigan and glasses, and impress you with obscure facts about Star Trek and Doctor Who.
The appeal of the Sexy Nerd is hard to define - whether it’s the sense that they’re more intelligent than you, or likely to earn more money, or perhaps it goes back to that maths teacher from high school that was a total dork but somehow sort of cute if you looked at him with one eye closed.
Why fight it? At the very least, a Sexy Nerd might be able to help you sort out your wifi and show you how to clean the viruses off your lap-top.
These guys are generally business gays. They love to network, they love going to events, they love wearing sharp suits, they love showing off about how much money they’re making. Generally, they’re not very nice people but they think that they’re spectacular.
The interests of these guys aren’t necessarily limited to theatre, but they’re the show-biz guys. They love musicals, they know the words to show-tunes, they can dazzle you with references to old movies that no one else has heard of. They idolise actresses who are long-dead. They watch the Tony Awards. Drag queens tend to emerge from this category.
These are the alternative, grungy guys. They’re a bit punk-ruck, a bit edgy. They’re artists, creative guys - tattoos and piercings. A bit dirty, in a good way.
These are guys that are a bit older, but still totally up for a bit of action. Sometimes described as Xaddy, or Daddy-as-fuck. Not all guys that you might label as a Daddy are necessarily looking for a younger guy, but that Daddy/Son role-play is fairly popular – something to do with the power dynamic at play that really works for everyone involved.
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